The Long Goodbye

It is the beginning. Of the long Goodbye.


Josh died early this morning. Cancer. What an ugly, ugly word. Death does not care if you are young or old. Eventually it will visit us all. Cancer doesn't care if you 5 or 35. Neither care that you have four little children at home, a wife who adores you, and a network of friends and family who love you.

Josh and Sam have been best friends since they were 12 years old. They grew-up, went to high-school, served missions, laughed, fished, hunted and played together. They found love, got married...had families, together. As long as I have known Sam, I have known Josh. Some of my fondest memories include him. Some funny, some not so funny...

I am so grateful to know that God has a plan. An eternal plan of happiness. I am so grateful to know God can see the whole. I only see a part, and right now it hurts. I long for the day that my understanding will open and the whole will unfold before my eyes and the pain will dissolve into knowledge.

To the Great Plan of Happiness
For Josh, Zelma, and the kids
For Sam, and all those hurting...

Goodbyes don't last forever
Families do.

Spring Break continued

Spring Break 2007

Ry, the man, on a rock. We actually hiked this later in our trip, but the pictures are so cute that I couldn't resist. This was the riverside walk at the top of the Canyon. It is at the Temple of Sinewava and was considered sacred to the Indians who lived there.
I could see why. It was simply beautiful. The trail is paved and winds up and down through the trees, by rock walls, passing hanging gardens and springs. At the end was a place that opens up on the river. The kids had a blast climbing on all the rocks and eating lunch. Many people pack in waders and what-not and continue the hike up the river. It is called the narrows, for obvious reasons I didn't. However someday I would really like too.

It took awhile, but, Katie finally climbed up on the rock for her picture. She is ever aware of danger...and it was looking to be a bit much for her. She would rather be behind the camera! She took her fill of pictures and played on the river. That is what must be done when you prefer your feet on the ground.


Then there is Ellie, the tree monkey. Holy Crap Batman!!! I would turn around and she would be so high my feet would tingle. She was scaling things like crazy. She is our little danger seeker, like Ry, and the two of them together is even worse! They had an absolute BLAST climbing and seeking together. The riverside walk was probably Ellie's favorite hike. She is still talking about the Temple of Sinewava.

All in all we had a good time. Stay tuned for installment 3!

Yummy Banana Pudding

Banana Pudding

1/4 C cornstarch
1/2 C sugar
3 C Milk

2T vanilla
2 bananas [one mashed, one sliced]
vanilla wafers

Stir together the cornstarch and sugar in a medium saucepan. Whisk in milk and stir over medium heat until thickened. Stir in vanilla and a mashed banana.

Then layer it with vanilla wafers in a casserole dish. Start by lining your dish with wafers. Then cut a banana and layer it on top of the cookies. Pour half the pudding over and make another layer ending with the pudding. Refrigerate until cold. Garnish with crumbled cookies and cool whip if you like!!!

Growing up, we always ate it hot. The process is the same, just without the refrigeration part. Layer it all up and eat it if you just can't wait! YUM!!!
This is modified from Fat Free vegan. Thanks Susan!!!

Fresh Air [Sam Style]

Who knew?

Who knew that you could have the flu in the last days of May?Well, I didn't!!! And I am sicker than sick. For the last four days, all I have wanted to do is sleep. I haven't gotten to. My sense of smell is heightened, trying to ride or drive in a car is a joke, and
Sam's version of let's make Amy feel better is "fresh air"...

Sam decided that I just needed some fresh air. So he rounded up our friends, and our horses, and headed up the canyon. Now, I haven't been on a horse in right around 12 years. I haven't had the intention of getting on one for about 12 more! However, being sick I just don't havethe energy to fight. Off we go up the mountain with me on a green-broke horse. Luke. Whom I love dearly, but he is only a colt. In horse sense I
suppose I am only a colt as well, so weren't we peas in a pod! We were doing ok until we came to a stream. I was last in the line of four, with Sam pulling Luke on a lead rope tied to his mule, Liz. Liz crossed just fine, Luke however determined he was going to find ANYWAY POSSIBLE across that stream without touching the water. Where we crossed it dipped down then went back up with the water in the bottom. It was surrounded by boulders, trees and dead-fall. In the very bottom was a small, but tall boulder. Luke jumped on top of it, with me screaming SAMMMM, needless to say, we looked like a circus act. Luke jumped from the top of the rock, I lurched forward and came right out of the saddle, tumbled across a few rocks and watched Luke step over me. I didn't like it much. I thought to my self, and people do this for fun? Why? Sam ran to help me up. I have a bruised rib, gashed elbow and my knees hurt pretty good. But, I smile and ask Sam what he would like me to do. I rode Liz the rest of the day. And we are all just fine. At least the adventure part was over within the first 5 minutes. LOL!!!

So besides being sick, I am saddle-sore, beat up and can barely breathe. Ah...
don't you just love fresh air?

Spring Break 2007

Spring Break 2007

We went to Zions National Park for spring break this year. It is a beautiful park just a few hours drive from our home. Although the weather turned quite unseasonably cold while we were there, it must have been a hit, because the kids are still asking to go back!

The Pa'rus Trail
We started on the easiest trails which followed the river. They were flat, paved and easy to navigate! And with three kids in tow that is a must. I wanted them to get a feel for following directions and understanding that there is a beginning and end to ALL the trails. This trail head starts right by the visitors center, passes thru some camp areas then winds its way up river for about 2 miles. It has plenty of access to the river which the kids loved.

This is along the Pa'rus trail. There is a squirrel sitting in the hole in the tree. I am surprised it stayed there so still. The girls were squealing in utter joy!!! They had watched it run along the path and climb up in there. The wonder of nature through a child's eye is a marvelous thing indeed. It was a super cute little squirrel!


This is the kids along the trail. Taking a break among the beautiful vistas that surrounded us. It was really amazing to have them pointing things out and the "ooo" and "ahhh" moments. I suppose for me it is a wonderful opportunity to help them see that the world is full of majesty and grandeur, when we take the time to look.



This is the Virgin river. It cuts through the canyon and is what carved the spectacular cliffs. The power of a little water!!

These are Katie's rocks. She loved them soooo much. You have to understand that she collects rocks everywhere we go. She likes rough rocks and smooth stones. All colors, shapes, textures...just rocks to us, and treasure to her. We had a nice long talk about why we have to leave things behind sometimes. She picked a nice home for her rocks, [on top of more rocks] and left them by the river for someone else to enjoy. The ironic thing about the whole deal was, the last day we were there we walked the trail one last time. And Katie found her rocks! They were right where she had left them. So all over again she got to hold and play with her rocks! Lesson learned. If we all took one thing from special places, eventually there would be nothing left. When we leave them there, we can enjoy them again and again!

Riley throwing the largest rocks he can find into the water. He really makes me smile. And again, another picture I have not figured out how to rotate. Enjoy!
And one final picture to tease you about day 2 . Here is Miss Ellie perched on some rocks. She doesn't hike, she runs. Look for a new post soon to follow all about these stairs, and trying to keep up.

All in a Days work

Ever wonder how much you can possibly cram into a day?

Man, I do. Lots. I am so ready for summer. For days filled with sunshine and laid back bliss. To jump on the trampoline with the sprinkler and enter child heaven on earth! I am ready to feel hot wind in my hair and on my shoulders. To run about barefoot and get grass stains on my heels!!!

Ahhh... summer come soon!

With kids, ball-games, school parties and all the other mom stuff to do...when does a Mom find time for herself? I suppose it is just all in a days work!
Like
cleaning the kitchen [like 1000 times a day!]
doing laundry
feeding animals [this includes kids]
folding laundry
picking up...[again]
putting laundry away
running errands
getting groceries
paying bills
and on it goes...

Sometimes I wish I could just clock in and out.
Oh well.

here comes the rain

Lets just say that the weekend was wild. In a word, anyway. Yes, dear reader, I know it is always wild at our house. However as school days wane and summer nears, the children revert into caveman type creatures. Filling their lungs with cries of freedom...
And their dear Mama's head with aching.

Speaking of aches. Ry the man got stitches Saturday night. He was petting the neighbor dog. ( Our uber-cool drunk cowboy neighbor 's dog ) When the dog just
RAWER!!!! Snapped a chunk out of the little man's leg. Said little man screamed like a girl and hauled his little hind end home. We poured about a bottle of good ole hydrogen peroxide on it and packed up for the hospital. We passed an ambulance on our way there...the thought crossed my mind that it could be a long night.

Long night indeed. Holy hanna banana!!! We were about 30 minutes into checking the boy in when a code blue was called. Now I don't have the foggiest idea what code blue means...but the whole ER came to a standstill. Pretty soon people were coming in crying, big people, little people. All red faced, all very very sad. At one point a young woman stood in front of the large locked doors crying..." I want my daddy!, I just want my Daddy..." As she began to collapse in front of the doors, I thought to myself, what is wrong with these people. I ran over and scooped her up in my arms and held her as tight as I could. She was taller than me, most people are...but the mother inside me was holding her...I touched her hair, I rubbed her back...I whispered words of love and kindness to her. So strange. So utterly real. So present.
Needless to say her Dad did not make it. I am not sure that he was even alive at the hospital. I can tell you to see an entire family come in and out for several hours is very enlightening. I found myself pondering my own life. The choices, the love, and what I would leave behind. I saw that nothing, NOTHING matters so much as your family. They are the most precious asset we have on this earth. Love them, even when it is hard. Love, love, love. I hope that Love is what I leave behind. Love, and laughter. Joy and kindness. Peace and gentleness. I know that I make mistakes, but I am trying to do my best each and every day. It is just amazing to me that one moment can make all the difference.

It is ironic that at the conclusion of my class that morning, that I urged the students to be mindful of the present. To live for today. Every day is a gift...that is why it is called the present. So to you dear reader, Hold the present tightly. It is sooooo small. It may be fleeting, or it may linger. Whatever it may be hold onto it.

Back to the boy. He got 6 stitches. He was pretty darn brave considering he had to get numbed twice!!! He gave out a yelp and Sam fussed at him to be brave. I fussed at Sam and told him that Ry could make noise if he wanted too...it HURTS!!! Ry leans over and says... " What do you expect Dad?... I'm only in third grade!" I laughed until my stomach hurt. Only Ry could say it that way. And it was the truth.

Until next time...
Dear Reader...
Live Like there is No tomorrow
Love like you have never been hurt
Sing like there is no one listening
And Dance...dance like no one is watching.

I hope you Dance.

These late spring days are filled with so much.

As many of you know, I have struggled with my weight most of my life. It goes up and down like a manic roller coaster. Well, a couple weeks ago I said ENOUGH!!!! I am trying the South beach diet. It seems to be a healthy alternative, although I hesitate to call it a diet. It is simply a healthy way to eat and live.

I feel like I have lived online to find every source I can to help me have creative ideas and still be able to eat food I like. I love, LOVE the Fat Free Vegan blog. Although I am none of those, ( well I am a blogger ), the foods there are simply wonderful. Last night I had a chilled curry zucchini soup that was FABULOUS!!! Also the vegan lasagna is to die for.

So in honor of my new way of eating ( and living ) I will try to post some recipes that I am trying. If you feel adventurous come along and eat with me. It is healthy, it is creative and a lot of fun.

Good bye rain...hello sunshine

Well the wind blew in several days of rain. It got downright cold here at our little farm on the hill. The big red house was a nice safe place to be with a pot of homemade soup in one hand and a batch of brownies in the other!!!

The rain has past and the last two days have been simply stunning. The grass is all green, the trees have blossomed, and the days are getting warmer. I feel summer nipping spring in the bud! Just a couple more weeks of school and we are free!!!

K. has a field trip tomorrow which she is really looking forward to. R. had a killer ball practice today. ( well, he is afraid of the ball...) E. has t-ball tomorrow , and so it goes.

Sam and I have been working like crazy to get our backyard landscaped...and let me just tell ya darling, out here it ain't easy. All rock and no play. Then you feed horses, haul water buckets and run your guts out the rest of the day. While kids follow you around saying.... I'm hungry, I'm bored. LOL!!! E. ran it past me today, so I plopped her on the counter and made homemade strawberry jam. :0) It is fabulous!!!

So, if you are around come on by. We will drag you along with us.

Hello Dear Reader....

Life comes at you fast doesn't it? Although today it has been wild and windy, the last few days have been gloriously sunny. Much too nice to stay inside! Here are a few updates since I last posted and no, I'm not dead!

*Spring break in Zions National Park was a blast...cold, but fun.
*K. had her dance recital and she was amazing as always!
*Ball season has sprung and trying to get three kids to practice is a joke.
*We have a new mule...Diamond. She is a baby and very cute.
*Two of our hens became Mommies while we were away.
*It is always nice to come home to baby chicks.
*Sam is working his guts out trying to landscape the yard...( the never ending task )
*I am working alongside him of course!
*Stay tuned there will be many photos to follow.

I have missed yall.